The Book of Rodney: Satan Sometimes Brings Cupcakes by Asher Angelica

Author:Asher, Angelica
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Benjamin Ross & Lane
Published: 2020-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

The patient in spirit is better than

the proud in spirit.

~ Ecclesiastes 7:8

Rodney was tired in his shop class the next morning. It was 8 a.m. He had been out too late at the Dandy Warhols concert the night before with Satan. His eyes were still red and irritated from the pepper spray. He couldn’t see too well. He was fumbling around with his three-legged table, trying to make it not so crooked.

Rodney took his table over to the circular saw. He wanted to trim one of the legs he had marked yesterday. His guardian angel, Barook, looked on with concern. Not liking where things were going, Barook flew over to the teacher, Mr. Cordon, who was helping a student with his birdhouse. Barook clapped his hands in front of Brett’s eyes hoping to get his attention. Actions and emotions in the spiritual world can sometimes bleed through dimensions and make their way into human consciousness. Mr. Cordon looked up in time to see Rodney turn on the circular saw and place his table leg, with his fingers still wrapped around it, in the path of the spinning saw.

“Hold on there a sec, Rodney. Maybe you wanna check your hand placement?”

“Nah, I’m good,” said Rodney who was about to perform an amputation on himself.

“George,” said Mr. Cordon to the boy with the birdhouse, “is Rodney good?”

“No, Mr. Cordon,” said George. “He’s going to saw his fingers off, which will be epic to watch, actually. Do we really have to stop him? I’m pretty sure the blood will spurt everywhere.”

At that Rodney jumped back away from the saw with a look of horror on his face. He let go of the stool and it clattered to the floor and broke apart. “Maybe I need some coffee,” Rodney muttered.

“Why don’t you take a break and run to the cafeteria?” offered Mr. Cordon who was thinking about all the paperwork another accident would trigger. He filled out a hall pass and handed it to Rodney.

“That’s really nice of you. Thanks,” said Rodney on his way out the door. In the mostly empty hallway Rodney noticed a group of three polo-shirted guys wearing Cartier wristwatches and Sperry boat shoes. Rodney looked down at his cheap Target-brand loafers made of pleather that were too tight for his feet. “Man, it would be nice to be able to afford better things,” Rodney said to his angelic companion.

“Of course it would,” said Barook.

Rodney squinted and turned his head slowly in Barook’s direction. “That’s not very comforting,” he blurted out a little too loudly for someone who appeared to be walking by himself.

The group of wealthy guys looked over at Rodney. “What’s not very comforting?” one of them asked.

“Um, my underwear” stammered Rodney, turning red.

“I think you’re over-sharing, bra” said one of the teens.

“Yeah, probably,” muttered Rodney as he passed the group on his way to the cafeteria and some much-needed awake juice.

⨌

Rodney was sitting in Mr. Thaxton’s physics class staring at Selefina. He was thinking about how beautiful she was.

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